LakeCumberlandBoaters.com

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Go ahead, I stole it! This morning one of the 12 said that Obama told them at the get go that they could not do anything with Obamacare. They said that made the job even harder. They should have the 12 that they have and one independent to break the tie. I will volunteer!

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? . To: Mark Lynch; Jim Doney; mike@arborprinting.com; Reynolds, Gary; georgesinc@sbcglobal.net Subject: FW: HISTORIC OBAMA FIRSTS HISTORIC OBAMA FIRSTS: First President to refuse to show a valid Birth Certificate. First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, th...

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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien becam...

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http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=vc ... r_embedded

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Check snoops! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I was thinkin about neked women, selling pork fritters and beer, walkin down the middle of the street.

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A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy looks down and said, ...

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Bob Is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two police officers there, and Bob asks if there is a problem. One of the officers asks if he is married, and if so, can they see a picture of his wife. Bob says "sure" and shows them a photo of his wife. The officer say...

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Hank Williams Jr. apologized for comparing President Obama to Adolf Hitler Sunday in a Fox News interview.

Monday, the surviving members of the Hitler family appeared on German television and accepted Hank's apology.

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Irish Alzheimer's Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest wit...

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Seals tell of killing ‘Bert’ Laden Upset by the official account, US Navy Seals commandos reveal the truth of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, nicknames and all Osama Bin Laden was killed within 90 seconds of the US Navy Seals landing in his compound and not after a protracted gun battle, accor...

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The Amish are "Non-violent" people! BUT IT PAYS TO KNOW GERMAN An Amish Farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand. The Amish Farmer shouts: "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kühe und die Schweine haben hineingeschissen!" Which means: "Don't drink the water,...

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Here's a quick look into the three former Fannie Mae executives who brought down Wall Street...and where they are now! Franklin Raines was a Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Fannie Mae. Raines was forced to retire from his position with Fannie Mae when auditing discovered severe irregularitie...

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Second Opinion! The doctor said, 'David, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressu...

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http://businessonmain.msn.com/videos/ne ... nCmYy2zrg7

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List of Republican Budget cuts – WOW? What else don't we know about. Notice S.S. and the military are NOT on this list. These are all the programs that the new Republican House has proposed cutting. Read to the end. * Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy -- $445 million annual savings. * Save...

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http://downloads.cbn.com/cbnnewsplayer/ ... ?aid=17933

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HIS wife, JULIE, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, He left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she ...

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The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the co...

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A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything-under-one-roof' department store looking for a job. The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?' The kid says 'Yeah, I was a salesman back in Wisconsin ...' Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You star...

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LOL! I never make mistakes, I do it so you have something to do!

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Will pay-per-mile be a buzzkill for American road trips? snip: So, what kind of money are we talking about here? Translated into dollars and cents, fuel taxes cost each vehicle owner about $250 a year on average. According to a University of Iowa study, paying that amount on a per-mile basis would ...

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re3too wrote:he's 83 tomorrow

So you married a younger man!

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I am waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $:-\$

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OH! I forgot to say that you cannot trust what Snoops says either!!!!!!!!!

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Happy Birthday RE3TOOS

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I agree, those are quite pricy.

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What the hell did she say, she talking in code again?

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Newt is my choice! I would give anything to see debate between Newt and Obama. Obama would get his butt handed to him.

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Unfortunatly you can almost beleive anything that the government might do. They are a bunch of crazy ba$tards.

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Well, distribution has begun...Refuse new coins! True Americans will refuse these It has begun...Refuse new coins! REFUSE NEW COINS This simple action will make a strong statement Please help do this.. Refuse to accept these when they are handed to you. I received one from the Post Office as change ...

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Don't forget the liquor store

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I have registered as follows.
JL Fasnacht
Jeff Fasnacht
Jeffery Fasnacht
Effa fasnacht
Jeffery L Fasnacht.

This should offset 5 of the Union Pricks.

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FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting...

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I don’t want to sound like I am against blacks holding office but she is a black woman who is sitting in a semi powerful seat. She like to push folks around. These kind of folks need never be put in that kind of a position!

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Gonorrhea Lectim { deadly disease } This is very important. One should be thinking about this seriously. I'm sending this because I know you are bright and I care about you. The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gon...

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READ AND WEEP FROM THE U.S. SENATE Sen. Coburn's closing remarks regarding spending cuts Friday, February 18, 2011 Sen. Tom Coburn is an M.D. (general practitioner) and Senator from Oklahoma . And recognized as 'the conscience' of the US Senate. He is well respected on both 'sides of the aisle' & pr...

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They are all nothing but crooked politicions.

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See if you can figure this one out........:-) You are on a Horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off. And on your left side is an Elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping Kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. ...

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The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman as well as the first female Texan as president. A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says, ''So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'' > > The father says, ''I don't think so ...

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Even the Mexicon dogs crap on him.

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His name was Boudreaux; he was from Louisiana ..... and he needed a >>> loan, so....... he walked into a bank in New York City and asked for >>> the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris >>> for an international Cajun festival for two weeks and needed to borrow >>> $5,000...

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The Italian Virginity test Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his Bride-to-be is still a Virgin. His doctor says ... "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit ~~~ a small can of Red paint, a small ...

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THIS IS GREAT! Read all the way to the end................ This took a lot of work to put together! You think English is easy?? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish ...

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Ole Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a Lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he Fell to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said: “How bad Is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Le...

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Witnessing the Republicans and the Democrats bicker over the U.S. debt is like watching
two drunks argue over a bar bill on the Titanic.

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I WANT TO GET RE-ELECTED An old West Virginia Hillbilly saying: You cannot get the water to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek. *SOME OF YOU MAY APPRECIATE THIS AND SOME OF YOU MAY NOT.* *I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING THIS BECAUSE OF IT'S TRUTH.* *If any other of our presidents had do...

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36 years with the bestest wife ever. I sure do love her!

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From old school teacher friends!

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Darla get rid of those pasties!!!!!!!!!!!

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ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER----- Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable T.V. from them back in 1987, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was...

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HARD TO FIND FAULT WITH THIS STORY. An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Sarah Palin said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest woman in American history, so America ’s people don’t want me to die.” She took the fi...

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GHOST SEX A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?' About 90 students raise their hands. Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you ha...

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Got this from another member. E, don't ever tell my stuff is not true, Snopes lies also. LOL1 Worth a read. . . SNOPES NO MORE! Many of the emails that I have sent or forwarded that had any anti Obama in it were negated by Snopes. I thought that was odd. Check this out. Snopes, Soros and the Supreme...

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Ford “Taurus” Renault “Clio” Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault “Clio” and the Ford “Taurus” they have designed the “Clitaurus.” It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it – let alone turn it on – even if so...

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Marriage Counseling: After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness...

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OOCH! That $hit hurts! Don't ever listen to Barb again!!!

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''We're learning more and more about the new Massachusetts senator, Scott Brown. Well, you probably know this. Back in 1982, he posed naked for Cosmo. Yeah, isn't that amazing? He's got it backwards. First you get elected to the Senate, then you get caught with your pants down.'' —Jay Leno "The McRi...

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I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning! ----------------------------------------------------------- The wife suggested I get myself one of...

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To: "xana deu" <oh-la-@13 PM A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ... Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home drunk...

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The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOV'T AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me ...

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Never trust a vending machine. Japanese Hotel service A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan .. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. 'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk to...

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We can only hope who ever buys the site changes command!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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You forgot a few. How about a cupon for a local hooker, or to the liquor store. Those folks need a job too.

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My post was in Arabic. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it. It said exactly what I had posted in English. It really is unbelievable that they can't take a joke. Darn gets more boring every day.

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From him I would say slam. But I don't give a rats arss. It funny that every time he slams me I getseveral emails telling me to bad. Thats all I will say.

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THE FINAL INSPECTION The soldier stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass.. He hoped his shoes were shining, Just as brightly as his brass. 'Step forward now, you soldier, How shall I deal with you ? Have you always turned the other cheek ? To My Church have you been true?' The soldier sq...

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LAKE SUPERIOR Pretty Amazing. I did not realize how big this lake really is! ï¿½ ï¿½ LAKESUPERIORFACTS Lake Superiorcontains ten percent of all the fresh water on the planet Earth. It covers 82,000 square kilometers or 31,700 square miles.. The average depth is 147 meters or 483 feet. There've been ...

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Figures and Facts What are the odds???????? Hey, this is great! Imagine the odds of this happening. Do you know the park in NYC that the Wall Street protesters are occupying? It's Zuccotti Park. Did you know this park is not owned by the city of New York? It is owned by Brookfield Properties. http:/...

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A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, So he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit...

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As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's a$$. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3. A ra...

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There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi are dead.

Yesterday, they both registered to vote in Chicago.
Registered by an ACORN employee no doubt...

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Men in Heaven When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household.....and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. And I want all the women to report...

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When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted Democrat, give them this list. Then they can then pick a reason from this "TOP 10".. ... 1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15...

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Nervous, it was on Fox & Friends this morning. I still get pissed off when they call it intitlements! Hell yea I am entitled, I paid for it. It's like they are giving you something for nothing. You will never hear them taking away anything from the illegals. Somebody should hang Pelosi up by her tit...

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