"Twas the Night Before Elections"

[Jaybird]

Twas the night before elections

And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down !!!!!! *
*
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of the political crap. *
*
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys *
*
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day !!!!!! *
*
He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink *
*
He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart !!!!!! *
*
' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers !
On Acorn, On Pelosi '
He screamed at the pairs !!!!!! *
*
They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight !!!!!! *
*
So I leave you to think
On this one final note -
IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM
PLEASE GET OUT AND VOTE !!!!!! *
**

[E_]

I don't care who you are voting for you have to admit that was good...

[$parechange]

[KYCanuck]

Just a slight adjustment. After all it is a Democracy!


Twas the night before elections

And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down !!!!!! *
*
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of the political crap. *
*
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw McCain and his boys *
*
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the Companies
For who's Oil we will pay !!!!!! *
*
He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink *
*
He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart !!!!!! *
*
' On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Bush and Palin !
On Arnold, On Joe '
It was a night full of wailing !!!!!! *
*
They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight !!!!!! *
*
So I leave you to think
On this one final note -
IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE HATED
PLEASE GET OUT AND VOTE !!!!!! *

[katie]

Very good KYcanuck! I have to admit, I am voting this year for the VERY FIRST TIME in my life! (not that I haven't tried, through moving, sick babies, etc., just got out of the mode). I will say, I am so 50/50, I am having a hard time.... just have to figure out which 50 is more important to me I guess and leave morals out of the equation.... how do you all figure it out when things are not totally clear??? (this is a serious question) I don't want to leave the polls feeling I wasted my chance.

[KYCanuck]

Thanks

I hear you on the indecision, I think many are struggling with that. Just do what you think is right and I for one respect your decision and I hope everyone else does as well. After all Democracy (The right to choose) is what we all fight to defend!

Unfortunately my Wife and I cannot vote here in the US yet, we need to get our citizenship, right now we are still only residents. It is a long process and you have to wait a certain amout of years after you become a resident before you can apply for citizenship. It makes both of us sick that we cannot vote and be part of the decision even though we live here and have to deal with the outcome, but I understand the reasons!

This is something that will be a priority for us in the new year!!!

[katie]

A BIG welcome to you and the Mrs. (and ivy too and I hope you get through with flying colors! I think many of us do not realize what it means to some of you to become citizens... I watch Craig Ferguson (as often as I can) and did get to see the show when he became a citizen... I am still moved! This was so important to him that he took a cameraman along with him through the whole process and even got misty when he talked it through!

[WaterWings]

Hey KYCanuk......thanks for being here. Ya know its funny ya never hear of folks trying to get into Mexico, Cuba or Venezula, etc etc.

I'm posting this little expose on a great American tradition in your honor. Hopefully one day you will get to go to a Chilli cookoff on the Big South Fork.
Sorry its a little long.

"Chili Cook Off"

If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."



Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

*****************************************************
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy $h1t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting $h1t-faced from all of the beer.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...



Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT. just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
*****************************************************


CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable ! kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ! ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I $h1t on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my a$$ with a snow cone.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

[KYCanuck]

Hi WW, thanks.

As for Chili we were actually brought up on the original "Texas" style chili and never knew there was any other kind until I started coming down the the Cincinnati area. (I still believe there is no other "Chili" but not to offend I won't go into that! )

My sister used to make one along the lines of the #8 in your post and my Ex-Wife actually called her a sadist and accused her of trying to kill her family. One of the many reasons she is the Ex-Wife. My wife now won't eat the stuff but at least she appreciates others tastes.

I have friends in Ontario that used to travel to Chili cook offs all over the Province and one time took a family vacation to Texas for original chili cook off.

We are more alike than you may think!