CATHOLIC HORSES
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.
Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.
Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.
Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.
By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.
True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.
Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.
He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.
Confronting the old priest he demanded, "Father! What happened?"
"All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings -- all of it!"
The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.
"Son," he said, "can't you tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites."
Race track
Have fun with some jokes. Just make sure they are not racist, topless, or too offensive. As you can see we are pretty liberal on what is allowed just don't get offended if you push the envelope and something gets deleted. ;-)
Moderators: E_, LC addict, FasterThanYou, crwky
- $parechange
- MASTER MEMBER
- Posts: 4195
- Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 9:56 am
Return to “Jokes and other hooey fooey”
Jump to
- Forum News
- ↳ Welcome to the Forum!
- Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland
- ↳ General Forum of Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lost and Found
- ↳ News
- ↳ Fishing on Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Marinas
- ↳ Alligator I
- ↳ Alligator II
- ↳ Beaver Creek Marina
- ↳ Conley Bottom Resort
- ↳ Burnside Marina
- ↳ Grider Hill
- ↳ Jamestown Marina
- ↳ LeesFord
- ↳ The Harbor Bar/Grill
- ↳ London Dock
- ↳ Omega Marina
- ↳ Rowena Marina
- ↳ State Dock
- ↳ Wolf Creek Marina
- ↳ Cave Springs Marina
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Campgrounds (users section)
- ↳ Fall Creek Recreation Area
- ↳ Fishing Creek Recreation Area
- ↳ Ryan's Campground
- ↳ Waitsboro Campground and Ramp
- ↳ Cumberland Point Campground and RV Resort
- ↳ Consumer Compliments for all to see
- ↳ Consumer Complaints for all to see
- ↳ Pictures Pictures Pictures
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Area Websites / Businesses
- ↳ Camp Grounds
- ↳ Cabins and Hotels
- ↳ Suggest a new form
- ↳ Fishing and Hunting Guides / Services
- ↳ OhioNavy.com
- ↳ AMIDSHIPS Lounge
- ↳ Services Around Lake Cumberland
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Storage Units
- Dale Hollow
- ↳ Dale Hollow Forum
- ↳ General Forum of Dale Hollow
- ↳ Dale Hollow Photos
- Green River Lake
- ↳ Green River Forum
- ↳ Green River Lake News
- ↳ General Forum for Green River
- ↳ Green River Photo Section
- Ohhh Kentucky
- ↳ KY Talk
- ↳ Pictures Pictures Pictures
- Chit Chat and all that
- ↳ General Talk
- ↳ Dare we speak politics?
- ↳ Sports
- ↳ Random Pics of whatever
- ↳ Jokes and other hooey fooey
- Boater Tech Swap
- Buy Sell Tradin Spot
- ↳ Boats
- ↳ Boat Accessories
- ↳ Other
- ↳ Vehicles
- ↳ Stuff
- ↳ Job Board
- ↳ Made in America
- ↳ Boating Specific Commercial Announcements and Links
- ↳ Lake Cumberland Area Boats for Sale by Dealers
- ↳ Real Estate by Forum Members
- ↳ Private Boat Rentals (top secret)