RE3, no more wall mart
Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 7:49 pm
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany
> her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men,
> I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
> Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she
> loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
> following letter from the local Wal-Mart: John
>
> Dear Mrs. RE3
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been
> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
> this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from
> the store . Our complaints against Mr. Chapman are listed
> below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> leading to the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
> right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
> put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
> would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
> department.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
> him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
> people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
> were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
> his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
> funnels.
>
> 13. October 9: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 14: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
> 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. October 16: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
> There's no toilet paper in here!'
-----
> her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men,
> I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
> Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she
> loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the
> following letter from the local Wal-Mart: John
>
> Dear Mrs. RE3
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been
> causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate
> this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from
> the store . Our complaints against Mr. Chapman are listed
> below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
>
>
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
> leading to the women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
> right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
> put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
>
> 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
> and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they
> would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
> department.
>
> 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
> him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
> people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera
> and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants
> were.
>
> 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
>
> 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
> his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
> funnels.
>
> 13. October 9: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
> browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. October 14: When an announcement came over the
> loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
> 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least ..
>
> 15. October 16: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
> There's no toilet paper in here!'
-----
re3too, he's not the only "male" out there, I think they teach them crap like that in grade school! 
Well, there are a couple of other things I could mention, but I think that annoyance is probably at the top of the list! Why do men think it's so funny??? Come on guys, is it because it annoys us so much, or is there another motive????? 
